Once Upon A Time.

Slow.

2010-02-24T21:30:00.004+08:00

Time passes by fast.

Things are getting pretty weird.

There's this thing that I realize in Life.

Friends - Good Friends - Best Friends - Enemy - Familiar Stranger.

Friends - Close Friends - Crush - Relationship - Don't Talk No more.

Its there right?
Cause I've been seeing it.
It kinda irks me alot. I don't know why though but still,
I agree with that.

Its true and it has always been.

Well, try to take time and observe around.

You'll see that. For sure.

P.S : Slow.

Tumblr : . Click It! =D

Tumblr.

2010-02-12T21:14:00.003+08:00

Having tumblr too now.

Haha. This is the two personal website's im holding onto for now.

Here's the link.

http://night-creatures.tumblr.com

You can find it at the link sections too.

This few days..
I just feel different about the whole world.

Its very..
I don't know different.

I saw you today.
yes, I can't think of you no more.
OKAY.

I CANT.
I think its enough. ENOUGH.

It hurts me alot that,
when you see me, you smile a million.
But when I try to talk to you.
YOU SHUN ME AWAY.

Goodbye D.

P.S : Im confused between 3.

As I Vow.

2010-02-07T00:23:00.002+08:00

Tonight is 7 February.
Momento Of Edward Night.

-SILENCE-

Well, after everything.
I decided to have a rule. I set it for myself.
I'm not going to say vulgaraties anymore.
I think I need a change on that.

Been saying too much.
I really want to change for the better.
The world is not going to be forever man..
We will still return to God one day...
Yeah.. One day..

So thats the thing here.
Tonight, I looked at the night sky.
The stars were bright and then.
I decided to make a song soon.
I've done one.
Going to do annother oneeee.

YEAH.

Ok.

Something for Jeff.
Haha, don't stress too much okayyy?
I'll make your chronic stress go away. =P
lalal xD
I'm missing ya already. Get online or call me QUICK!

Left you two miss call, you sleeping beauty. =P
I hope Netherland is not that cold.
cause SINGAPORE IS STILL HOT. =.=

Ok wells, yeha.

hahaha. aite...
Thats all for today. Reciprocate and Evaluate.

P.S: As I Vow, My Words, For My God, That Is Allah.

Embrace.

2010-02-04T19:56:00.002+08:00

The life you face, the things in place.
Appreciate it, alright?
cause once you lose them...
There are %99.99 that they won't return.

So Think twice.

I'm currently in love with Vox Angeli.
A good french songs, I mean, for those who doesn't like,
slow songs or soul. PLS don't click open on top. Yeah.

The navigations are those blue ones.

Well, life has been okay.

I'm thinking back again.

If I were to enter Lasalle.
My money's being eat up.
I need them. To support my family.
So I stop and stare.
I'm just taking Private Diploma.
Either in Psychology or Tourism And Traveling.
OR, Film, Video And Sound.

Got dreams on becoming a director too ya know. =)

Hahaha.

And seriously I will work for it!

Ok. Seriously.
I GOT CAUGHT TODAY!?

In Vandalism. Graffiti.
I was tagging my name, and they caught me. =.=

And they were like, "What are you trying to do!?"
The guy approaches me and I turn to him, replied, (subtle)
"Tag?"
The guy was like, "You drew THAT!?"
I turned and looked at the wall, then towards the marker at my hand.
I replied " Erm, Not that one. " Pointing to the bigger tag on top
of my tagline -[ N-Se7eN ]- , saying "Detroitttt".
He got pissed off and furious and said " You DARE to say you didn't do! You think I'm blind!? " He points at my marker.
I look at him cluelessly, I replied "Erm, I said I did it, but this one-" points at my tagline, continued " I didn't say that one!" Points at the other tag.

He got dammmmmnn angry and shouted.
"You go into the shop NOW!"

I acted and started crying.
And the drama queen is there. ME. haha.
Oh wells, I guess my name is in PR now.
I dunno whether they are still doing it. LOL.
After awhile I think back again.
That was funny. HAHA.

Oh wells,
Nevermind.
Other than that.
I really wanna do something soon. Sighhh.
I WANNA RECORD MY SONGS.
=X

And one more thing. I'm sooo happy Jeff's not angry with me.
I missed him alottttt.

=D

Okay.

P.S: Embrace In God's Love.

Life.

2010-01-28T23:59:00.002+08:00

Heh.
Considering of Letting YOU go.

I think, though yes, I really do love you.
But I don't deserve some guy who doesnt
even appreciate my love in the first place..?
Dont you think?

Yeah..

Sigh.. its ok...
Im still considering.
and it hurts ALOT.

Well, I got to know my results for a few test.
Though, I know im gonna flung Physics.
But like what Mr Desmond had said to me..
Failure is MOTHER to all success.
I believe it so..

CAUSE MIRACLES HAPPENED.
But this time, I knew I work hard for it.
FINALLY, for the FIRST time.

I pass my MATH test with FLYING COLOURS.
I got 17 out of 20.
DAMN, I was on cloud nine.
Not until some people appear when I dont want him to.

And,
though its JUST pass.
Its still good. Cause my malay SUCKS too.
But this time..
I got.
41 out of 80! HAHA. JUST PASS. =D
Again,
I was on cloud nine.
Not until some people appear when I dont want him to.

Oh wells. this is shit.

There's four more results to wait.
Which is, English, Social Studies, History and English.
WAIT.
WHAT ABOUT CHEMISTRY!?
How come there's no test on that uhhh?
Nevermind.
Guess its gonna be sooner or later. WELL.
That'll make it FIVE more results to wait.

Ok well,

This is LIFE.

So. Yeah.

Will work hard.

CAUSE ONCE MORE IM GONNA REPEAT.

LASALLE! HERE I COME~!

P.S: God, Give Me Some Answers..

One Chance.

2010-01-25T23:19:00.003+08:00

If Only I Got On Shot To Win You.
Just One Chance To Prove To You,
That I'm Willing To Go Through Anything With You.

Just One Chance.

Loving You Isn't Easy. It Hurts Badly, Till My Heart Is Soo Numb Now.
But Still.

P.S : I Love You. Mr D.

Astrid.

2010-01-21T21:16:00.003+08:00

Yawn.

Fine. Just wake up from my lovely sleep. And.
YES, I love my family loads loads loadddssss.

Yesterday was Mommy's Birthday.
I didnt blog out. I was busy. LOL. XD
Busy Sleeping.

Sheesh.. soooo.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! =D I SOO LOVE YOU!!!! =D

Daddy. Sorry I didnt have anything on your birthday.
His Was 9th of January. But oh wellss...
Still..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD! =D I SOO LOVE YOU TOO!!!! =D

Sighhh.

Ok, dad's planning for an early release for NPCC tomorrow.
Im sooo glad. And he's gnna get me the storybook I wanted. Haha.
Yeah. Well, I have to do D&T any sooner,
dont think Im going to sleep that early.
4 hours of sleeping just now, soo yeah. =D hahaha.
OH WELLS.

Its friday tomorrow, two more days.
I hope you can make it.. =)
I miss you sooo much..
yeah.. Really. God, pls let he be available on Sunday.

Okay..
This is just a momento for Edward.
Edward Night.
I saw this book. The characters are just like us.
I felt the quilt that was there at that moment.
And the ring with our names engraved on it.
I know this is toooo late to carry out.
Its been nearly 2 years after your death.
But its like a tradition.
yeah, i do miss you.
But I've moved on.. Well, I had no choice, do I?
Its our day, every 7th of any month.
Too much to ask for, you're mine, and I'm yours.
That's what you had said, 2 years before.
3 November 2008, 12.07AM.

I should've known God's talking you away.
I should've heard the differences in your voice..
But guess I was tooo selfish, once again.

I hope we meet again.. I remembered..
We can't.
I hope you live happily up there.
Yes, I do love someone right now..
I really do love him.
But God never let me a chance to feel it again, isn't it?
Well, yeah.
Again, I look at the night sky, and I saw the brightest star blinking.
And remembered you standing beside me and said this.

"Look, Astrid, that's us. You know why is it soo bright?"
"Why?" I look helplessly to you..
"That's when we are together as one, Astrid."

And again, on 7th January, I saw the exact same thing this year.
Just that, there's something missing.
and that's you..

Well, its just a momento of you..
You'll always stay in my heart.
memories lasted forever.
And The name you gave to me specially..
Heh. yeah.
And now, I hope I have one shot.
With the new love. Not exactly new though. It has been a year since then..
Oh wells.

Not again.

P.S: I always feel like you are there looking down at me..

LASALLE. Here I Come. =D

2010-01-17T19:24:00.004+08:00

Hmmm.

LASALLE's AWESOME.
I'm going to that school.
Either, I'm taking,

Acting,
Musical Theatre.
OR
Music.

=D

I soooo love Performing Arts. +D

OKoKoKOkOKokOKoKOKokoKOKOKokOKokOKok!

And and. I wasn't doing anything or being a what.
But the main actor in the school.
I mean under Acting course.
SMILED AND WINKED AT ME. =D

ALALLA XD hahahha. i know i know lame.
But mennnnnnnn............

He's hottttt.. And Hototttt.
HOT HOT HOT.

A Caucasian guy with this bronze hair, with his BLUE GREENISH EYES.

hhaaaaaa.....

*melting*
hehehhe.

OKOK.
Cut the crap.

I really love the people there.
Very nice.
hahaha.
=P
Annnd. the Head of the musical theatre talked to me like WUW.
Seriously.
Got alot of things to catch up. hahaha.

a very demanding school.
The school hours will be 9AM to 7PM.
Well, its not that bad. ahaha. =P

OKOK.

Its my Parents Anniversary tomorrow. So, heading to town to have a family dinner now.

Oh wells,
I shall update my blog again soon.

=D

P.S: LASALLE. Here I Come. =D

Maybe It's Just Me.

2010-01-16T08:51:00.002+08:00

The twilight sky disappear as the morning sunrise overtook.
LOL. Lets cut the drama.
I got to attend a show,
they need actors. FACK.
AND I WANA GO LASALLE sooo. yeah.
I told my agent.
SRY. I DONT WANT ACT FOR THIS SHOW. =P
OK.

Went To NAFA's Open house yesterday.
Going to LASALLE's today.

I'm deciding my future this year.
And seriously.
Don't you even give a shit about what I'm
deciding right now.
YOU are NOT the one who's PAYING for my school fees.
YOU are NOT the one who's DECIDING MY FUTURE.
I'AM the ONE.
Its MY future.
Not YOURS.

SO BACK OFF!

Well, lets say.
recently was also the O Level results.

For those who didn't do well,
Its ok..
ITS NOT THE END. (:

Work harder next time.
I know how you guys feel. Chill aite..?

Well, CONGRATULATIONS FOR JUSTIN!
He got quite a number of Distinctions. =)

You Sung.
Dont worry my brother! YOU'll ALWAYS DO BEST IN YOUR STUDIES. +)

Daniel. (:
Hahaha. I'm soooo sooo happy for you that you get what you get.
You did pretty well too. =)
Go Temasek and make sure be a successful MARKETER. =)
hahahha. Love ya always. =D

Other than that.
erm.
All The Best For Everyone Else. =D

Ok.

Now, its time for us.
The Sec 4 batch to focus. Yes.

L1 + Maths + B3.

work hard for the best.
cause the goddamn syllabus has changed TREMENDOUSLY.

Fack.

Ok. aite. Its 9 in the morning now.

I'm getting my breakfast done.
Strawberry Milkshake With A French Cuisine.
Ahhhhh. Its been sooo long since
I have my luxury back. ;)

Well,
11 AM meeting my girl friends down the road for LASALLE.

And seriously,
Moodorama songs rocks.

I soooo love ACID JAZZ.

Heh.
Especially Sweet Tofee and Hold On. ;)

Hmmm.
After LASALLE erm.. Esplanade? Naw, erm.
How bout Clarke Quay? Naw,
Raffles? Naw,
DAMN. IS THERE ANY NICE PLACES IN SINGAPORE???
The ones with the company of luxury and art. Yeahhhh......

Sigh, aite.
My food's waiting for me.

The temptation is rising.

See ya guys around.

P.S: I'll Always Save You Last On My List, Because I Know, I Can Spend Longer Time With You, Knowing That After That There's Nothing Else I Should Do.

Silence.

2010-01-10T20:54:00.002+08:00

Forgive me for my silence, forgive me for my non-presence.
I didnt mean to behave this way.
I didnt mean to be this way.
Things happened, I'm trying my best to catch up with life.

So understand me, give me my space,
for me to survive.

I'm sorry..

Don't Cry Because Its Over, Smile Because It Happened..

2010-01-04T23:59:00.004+08:00

Its 12.00 A.M sharp.
Im making another confession.

My heart beats faster than before.
Im trying to like someone else,
But i cant see you walk out through that door.

I need you so much.
Im still loving your touch.

The way you grab my hand when we were dancing.
Its the first and last..
Im gonna miss you so much,,

God, help me.. I cant stop crying about this.
Im trying my best to keep myself super strong.
But no..

I cant.
Im trying..
Ive been loving him for at least, make it 2 years.
HELP ME GOD.
I need you to provide me strength..
He was always there for me.. When I needed someone..

You were the only, and the first guy to know about my probs
sooo deeply.. Yet, you were always there to listen out..
NO matter what you are doing..

Im sorry Ive disturb you before.
You were revising for your major exams.
And I was calling you, needing you soo much.
Crying badly.. And you said, its ok, im here....

the things you've said to make me feel wonders..
only god knows.. only god..

I wanna see you again.. Once more.
Its hard for me to let go..
its not an obsession..

its my true feelings.
its how i really felt the whole situation is.
this is how i feel.
Ive never let it out before...
Now maybe i should..

yeah i know some of you guys might think,
she's crazy.
she's insane, an obsessed for sure.
But, i just wanna let out my feelings.
This is my Deep Heart Felt Feelings.
Soo Painful... sooo painful..

This is my first time.. letting all of this out...

and lastly..

its just the way, you make me feel,
the way you smile, when I was badly in tears,
and you whispered to me.. its ok.. smile..

And the last thing I would never forget,
the way you whispered and looked into my eyes..
softly you said...

Don't Cry Because Its Over, Smile Because It Happened..

P.S: I'll See You Soon..

First Day Of School? AWESOME. =D

2010-01-04T21:59:00.003+08:00

Ok. The tile says partial.
But yes. IT WAS AWESOME.

I'm the monitor once again.
hahhaa. =P oh wells,
still at least there's no one who has any objections
to that fact.
Ok. Our class was held at level four.
Two classroom away from Daniel's Class.. Yeah.. Sigh..
Nevermind. He's like my brother. I'm trying my best to think that way.
Instead yeah. Nevermind.

Ok. Hmmmmmm. Why am I talking like Mr Shaw? He's our new principal.
DAMN, too much oks at the end of each phrases he'd said. =.=

Hmm yeah.. Ms Fauziah? LOL. I miss her ALOT. She's the best Discipline Mistress EVER! =D She was even joking to the whole school about our school rules. LOL.
Serious shit, most of the teachers in Beatty ROCKS. =D

Ok.. Other than that.
At first, I went "SHIT, F**K, CHI B*I! WHY I ENED IN MS JAMIE's CLASS FOR ENGLISH SIA!"

WHY MS JAMIE~!?

But!
haha. She's very nice. Yeah. Haha.
I thought she's the wicked witch from the west.
But she claims to be ONLY nasty when we are having Attitude problems with her.
Oh wells.

Ok, somethings weren't right in the morning.
But I pulled it off.
Yeah. Pissed off, again. Pulled it off. WHY SULK OVER IT?
Not worth it. ;)

Sigh, yeah?
Hmmm.

Its different this year you know,
when I came to school, the seat that you always sat was empty
and occupied by someone else.
Knowing that we are all moving on with our own lives.
It feels like I was stabbed through the heart so deep..
TOO deep.. sigh.. yeah.
I controlled my tears, I told myself I'm strong and moving on.
And the first day of school,

without realising,
I sat the bench where my eyes first sat on you. And when I slowly raised
my head to look straight, I saw you, just the way you are when I first met you,
Sat at the bench right straight in my view staring at me with those purple contacts
of yours. But its all plain illusions..

And the smile you gave me backstage. The eyes you showed to me when I was sitting right next to you in the canteen.
Its all gone now.. All off scene.

And I look back..
with all the memories I had, if only, I could rewind time,
just to see you again, ONCE again.. One Last Time.. =)

Still have that strong feelings for you.
But I hope you remember.. I won't take it for granted for the times when Im with you.

Solitude Remedies Of A Broken Heart.

Slowly.. I'm moving on..

Slowly.....

P.S: Don't Cry Because Its Over, Smile Because It Happened. =)

2010 Resolutions.

2010-01-02T20:58:00.003+08:00

Definitely from the title itself you should know,
what I wanna blog about.
Yeah, my 2010 resolutions.

Life's getting all serious.
And yes, that INCLUDES me.
I have to back off, told myself I couldn't play alot.
Cause, First Thing On My List,

Achieve N Levels And O Levels With A Good Distinction. =)
And Apply for LASALLE : College Of The Arts.
yeah, serious shit, I ain't joking about entering there. =)

And believe me, I'll go study till I get, Bachelor Of Arts.
And..... IF I can make it. Continue till I get, Master Of Arts. =)
Ok..
I might have big dreams. But along the way, I wanna be a musician too.
Well, as my career along the journey. =D

Hahhaa. Yes, I'll need to work hard, REALLY HARD for this,
But dont work hard, but work smart. =DD

Ok yeahhh.
Hmm.

I want a leather jacket.
That's gonna cause about $3000+.
No. No kiddin. THATS TOO INSANE.
I'm just gonna get myself the leather jacket at Paragon.
it costs about $299? Yeah. hahaha. Make it $300.
Yeha. Better. But seriously there is a leather jacket that's selling
about $3000. CRAZY SHIT. =X

Oh wells, other than that.
I'm gonna improve on my math.
It a killer. BORDERLINE ALWAYS,
and I'm gonna make a change this year!! ^.^

Ok. Hmm.... Lets seee.
OH YEAH, MY SONGWRITING COMPETITION.

hahaha. Ok.
The recording. Uhm, Im having a little trouble on my recording.
Either I'm going for Dreambox Production or Squeakeasy Production.
Still deciding. They have been calling me up for my demo.. GOD.
=.= Oh wells, yeah,
The songwriting competition right..?
And the song title for the song Im gonna compose just for the competition is.

"United We Stand, Divided We Fall"

Yeahhh. Ohh wells.

Hahhaa. Hmmm. The first day I went to Siti Nurhaliza's And M.Nasir's Concert.
Though I know, Im not the kind of who listens to malay musics.
But yeah, I was just accompanying my buddie, Afifah, to the show.
It started around 8pm and ended around 11.30pm? Hahaha. yeah.
it was a good performance. AND I REALLY ENJOYED IT. =D

Yepppsss. Hmmm.

Ok, things were going well, I guess, maybe it New Year?

Hahaha. Yeahhh. I'm just moving on from all my sorrow and pain.
The memories that should leave. I left it behind with the year 2009.
Yeah... KISS GOODBYE. =D

Yeah. I'm strong. ;D
yepyep. And, another thing,
I'm making a change to my personality and attitude, along with character wise.
erm, aren't they the same? LOL. xD

Yeah. Like, I just don't wanna be too bubbly.
I wanna be the real me. The laid-back kind.
Cause when I'm my bubbly me its = violence fer life.
If I'm my laid-back me its = reduces violence percentage. =)

hahhaa. yeah... Ok. One thing.
TAKE NOTE. Catch My Album Soon. Entitled : Heartbeat.

SOON.

Im not sure when I'm gonna sell it out. =P
YEAH. lol.
nope, im not joking about it. hahaa. yaeh..
Ok, i wanna catch some air at Esplanade.
On my way there now. LOL. XD
yeah.. Seek solace? yeah.
Going to Harry's Pub Again.
Just chillingg... yep.

Aite. Ciaos.

P.S: Changed Perspective... (:

Thoughts.

2009-12-29T21:45:00.003+08:00

Thoughts about the heart beats that,
started and stopped at the same time.
Yeah, how complicated could that be.
I'm cool with any shit you wanna throw to me...
Seriously.. Just dont mess tooooo much with me..

And yes, you don't know whats my blog.
so maybe its a best spot for me to "gossip" about you.
Well, let me start.

As it has started.
An asshole wanted to whack my brother off for his satisfaction.
Fuck it.
I was at the back looking at the drama,
as you said "get the fuck off, and even you!"
He's referring that to my mama.

I was like what the fuck.
You lay one more hand on my brother.
I'd say this is over...
Seriously, fucker.
I was holding a knife.. I'm serious about this.
Fuck it..
Things just go over board.
Lucky Allah made me stop that insanity.
If not, I think I've officially a murderer and a criminal already..
Im serious homie..
Heh..

You made me this way.
Again I'm your daughter not your son.
You can't just punch me or shoot me with your gun?
Well, If I were A guy. Damn.... Seriously,
We could have some RAW WWE Homemade shit out men.
Damn. think about it.
You didn't even trust us, and there you go
expecting to gain respect from us.
You talk shits about my sister, the things that she dont do.
You talk shits about my bro and my mother and even me too.

Sigh. God, Help Me, You Know That I Need You.

Please.. This is changing my attitude..
Please.. I wanna stay as who I am..
Cause I feel like fading away from everyone..
I dont wanna go around hurting someone..
Please.......

I'm begging.. You...

It hurts hurts hurtssss sooooo much..
I'm fighting...
Seriously..

I keep on falling. But I stand back up..
I keep on bleeding, but I wrap myself up.

It continues to bleed well. Not only mentally or emotionally.
Even physically hurt by the one who every family should look up to.

What does that mean?
Fuck it...

Enough of the vulgar already...
Ahhhhh... I'm going crazy..
Please..
I dont wanna be heartless.. But yeah..
Stop..

I keep telling myself, im strong.
Whenever I wanna break into tears,
I said no, thats wrong.
Im fighting it so badly.
I dont even wanna remorse about it actually.
But its too painful, I have to let it all out..

I wanna isolate myself from everything..

I'm strong..
Yeah.. I am..

I am...

P.S: And This Is My Deep Thoughts.

Avoiding.

2009-12-29T02:06:00.002+08:00

Avoiding.
I'm trying.
My best,
to keep the feeling off my chest.
As it hurts so much.
Knowing he wont have feelings for me,
not even a touch.
I felt that way,
cause of what he had say,
before on the phone,
and now. Im trying my best to keep all the feelings begone.
i'm trying sooo hard.
but he's just too nice to get off my heart.
i think some of my friends would know who im referring to,
it might be him, or it might be YOU,
yeah, if you feel different bout reading this,
there might be big possibility you;re in my suspected-list.
As I turn around,
i'm trying not to make sound.
thinking about the reasons that it was canceled.
maybe God has his reasons, why it was messed up.
for me to try my best to avoid the fact,
that im falling for him,
so I would not keep things intact,
or whatever it seems.
I know you wouldn't have feelings for me too,
And so I should avoid falling in love with you.

P.S: Sigh Bin Sighs.

Superhuman ' & A Story '

2009-12-28T23:35:00.002+08:00

I made some new songs I've been working on.
I read Shahrul's Superhuman and I say,
This guy got some magic in all of his wordplay.
vocabularies I should say too,
ayy baby, would you teach me,
how can you be that cool?

hahahha. random i know lame. haha.
oh wells, here's my song for my Superhuman.
haha. yeah i know. we both been planning to make serious shits
from the same title. hahaha. and here's the product.
hahah.
=)

oh wells. Here it is.

[Verse 1]

The streets are getting lonely,
and Im feeling all so differently.
pure guilt feelings begin to vanish and be
receded and that’s when pure satisfaction
comes into place.
While reminiscing the past,
I felt good at last,
Well, I felt a lot stronger,
A lot better, A lot better.

[Chorus]

I walk up straight and strong,
make up for what I did,
to prove them wrong,
this isn’t a requiem but my song,
to show them where I belong.
took the past as my lesson,
bring them to life,
close up the silence,
I didn’t look back nor took any turns,
and I felt so Superhuman.
So superhuman.

[Verse 2]

Yes, I was devastated,
I got irritated by the all so,
complicated.
things should’ve have changed by then,
but it goes on till I don’t know, when,
its 3AM in the morning,
and problems came up,
and I started fighting,
so it wouldn’t be messed up.
and

[Chorus]***

[Bridge]

Stop.
I’m moving on from this situation.
I ain’t looking for a refuge, not for this reason.
And I
know some shit is hard to swallow,
but sometimes you have to be strong,
and that’s the motto I’m gonna follow.

[Chorus]***

Yeah. So Superhuman.

And My New Rap.
Lets Borrow The Beats From 8 Mile Last Rap Battles By Eminem.
Sorry,
I couldn't think of a beat at the moment.
Try to rap it out with the beat,
its to this link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVb0jvnHEpQ&feature=related
You might wanna try to hear how Em started the rap first.

Title : A Story.

Now everybody in the world who knows me,
Shut the heck up I'm about to tell y'all a story,
Everybody from my shitty school, beatty.
Listen up, keep it low, just listen to me already
Look Look

Now while Im tryin' to stand tough
Notice that this man did not have his hands up,
And my world got you fucked up,
Now who's acting all shitty when I didn't do anything to messed this up.
1, 2, 3 in to the 4
1 Fuck , 2 Fuck, 3 Fuck, 4
4 Fuck, 3 Fuck, 2 Fuck, 1
What the fuck, I'm your fucking daughter, Not your fucking SON!
This guy aint no muthafuckin father to me,
I know everything he's got to say against me,
I'm behaving like a, WHAT? ,
I'm saying, he's words hurt me more than like a cut,
I do live happier with my mom only,
My little brothers future, I had to look after, homie,
Its making me feel all shitty already,
Felt like shooting himself in the leg with his own gun
I did get jumped by all of his ass chumps
And yeah you did fucked my world
I'm still gonna stand here and continue screamin "fuck tha free world!!"
Don't ever try to judge me dude,
You don't know what the fuck i've been through,
But i know something about you, you cheated on my mom's heartbeat-er,
What's the matter asshole? scared my mum get back on you, you fucking cheater?
This guy's a wanker, while ejaculating this fucker take turns
And he made this house just like a hotel,
checks in and checks out, and I'm already living in a LIVING HELL ,
This guy is the guy who claims to be my father forever,
But I felt like hey are sure you get the right daughter?
To say that to her, its a mistake to death
He's scared to look in his fucking home, FUCK SHIT

Fuck the beat, i go acapella
Fuck all the things you said, it aint true, fuck the doc,& fuck you
Fuck to all the things you claim that you didnt do.
I'm a piece of thrash who becomes a bait when you're down feeling blue.
And fuck this situation
I don't wanna talk about it no more
If I could kill him, I would kill and ask peeps for some contribution
And then I would just walk out through that door.
And Fuck all this shit, when I ain't do nothing..
Seriously, if you get me, ya know what I'm saying...

Alright.
This is it.
Be cool.

If I Learnt Anything From This.. It Will All Be Gone.

2009-12-27T22:28:00.002+08:00

I'm stuck in here..
I'm stuck in this situation.
God knows, how Im feeling.
The situation got me up, over the ceiling.

I was trying my best to make a decision here.
I was completely confused.
I was hold back, when I wanted to go away.
I was pulled upfront, to face reality everyday.

I wanted to be someone who will be there for you.
I wanted to be there, when you had those hard times to go through.
I wanted the times to change for the better.
I wanted us, to be at least something, that lasts forever.

But I was a fool for sure.
Thought that things will turn out better.
But again, I never thought you would be this shitty.
Shitty as how I expected all the others heartless bastard would be.

So I listen to Eminem, his lyrics so as his songs.
I know he has some explicit lyrics, but they never prove that it was wrong.
Lets take Beautiful as an example for this situation,
have you listen to it? Have you ever feel this kind of so-called
"sensation" ?

What he had said in that song is true,
"Dont let em say you ain't beautiful, they can all get fuck stay true to you".
Who, Who, the hell Im referring to.
Lets not point out, let me give you a clue.

Is the kind of people who makes you point out,
Not the index, or the pinky,
is the one you put, up,
when you don't give a fuck,
about anything people would have said.

Sorry I'm being all emotional and shitty,
how would you feel when things go out of place
and make you allll unhappy..

Of cause everyone has its ups and downs.
But can you imagine? if the same things keep going round and round.
Lets not make a sound,
can you hear it?
Hear my pain?
I'm screaming so crazily, sooo insane.

God, can you hear me...?
Why you make me feel this way..
I know, I'm brave, I'm strong,
thats what I love to believe in,
but what If im wrong,
I'm doing some crazy stuffs that turns into a sin?

Sigh...

I fell in love once, twice, and thought love is all nice.
But it was only in the beginning.
Not the ending.
And there where you start singing.
"Its hurting me, its killing"

But maybe,
baby,
I'm walking away,
I'm just too afraid to stay.

But now I truly realize,
some people dont wanna compromise,
I saw it with my own eyes,
they spread those lies...

I dunno what I'm suppose to do.
I'm so confused between two.
God help me show the answers to everything im facing now..
Cause it hurts like.. hell.. somehow..

My heart got hurt so many times, torn..
&
If I Learnt Anything From This.. It Will All Be Gone.

P.S: Lets Take This Easily... Would you..?

I Wanna Brace An Open Mind.

2009-12-23T21:54:00.004+08:00

HEY.
Im addicted to Eminem once more. =P
FACK.
hahaha.

Well, im bored, today when to science center.
Had some time company-ing my cousin and brother. =)

Well, things are just okay...
Nothing much. haha.. yeah..

Shushh..
Well, haha.
Just saw some blogs,
thanks to those who blog about me.. haha.
It was sweet of you guys. ahaha.
And Shahrul...
LOL. x]
hahhaa. I'm not gnna be THAT famous ayyy. hahha
BUT THANKS. ;)
hahha. it flatters me. much. hahaha.

Anyways, this is how I feel right now.
I'm making a new song somehow.
Seriously, I'm just plain in the mind this days..

I wonder who's thinking about me..
I mean seriously..
I feel that way.. The feeling is sooo strong..
Like and old buddy will appear without my acknowledgment
or anything..
Sigh.. Why must my instinct be this way..?
Haha..

Again....
Something else.

Thats too muchh to ask for right? Don't you think RYAN?
heh..
Forget about it.
I have enough of your lies.
heh....

I think im gonna go bball later around 4am.
IM seriously... bored shitless.
Sighhh...

AHH CRAP.
Certain people are behaving like some sarcastic morons.
You guys either stop it..
Or I'll go down to your school...
Don't mess with her ayy..? Seriously,
Afifah.. Tell me if they're messin with ya...

And they'll pay for it...

Im FUCKING SERIOUS.
and I MEAN IT....

Heh.. *smirks*

Just one more thang.. and..
Thats it....

P.S: I Wanna Brace An Open Mind.

Yesterday, The Day Before, And My Brand New Tomorrow.

2009-12-22T22:41:00.002+08:00

Hey Guys & Girls.
I really just wanna say that, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING. =D
HONESTLY.
Thanks Everyone For Everything. It Was Great Party Definitely. Love It. And Love You Guys. Also Thanks FOr The Gifts. =D Really Wish We Could Hangout Some Other Time Like That Again. =)

Hahhaa. Sigh.. Yeah. It was awesome.

Ok.

See My Title up there?

Here's My New Rap For It.
----------------------------

Reminisce some time, when we used to rock out the show.
smiling to myself, trying hard to chill and go with the flow.
When I was wishing hard that everything just fits into place.
But my hearts just beats fast, & faster, like a rat race.
Tell me why, Oh Lord, Tell me why.
Im standing right here, and all I do is to sigh.

I remembered how I used to stood upfront,
with those people who fucks and holds up their guns.
The sound of the trigger being pulled,
how I remembered those love ones that I protected before,
just make me look like a FOOL.
The pain I had to go through,
The pain that I bear just to look after you.
The pain, the things I do, which is hysterically INSANE.

I know its up to my choice, to not help or to do so.
But I didn't know, they betrayed me, and get me out to go.
Im started to feel like Im being dissed again.
Once again, I live in pain.

But all I know is, no matter what,
if your my friend, you're my family.
Someone who I will defend, to make them happy.
I will always stay by your side,
stand up when I fall,
so I could stick up to my fight.

Yesterday, things were bad.
The Day Before it, was just overrated, just too sad..
And My Brand New Tomorrow, I'll make sure, that I wont get mad.
And this so-called "Wisdom" will be my,
Yesterday,
The Day Before,
And My Brand New Tomorrow.

Yeah, thats all folks....

P.S: Sometimes I think the one who protects the one who he/she loves,
is the one who needs that protection the most...

Sigh bin sighs...

Title: Be Strong.

2009-12-18T22:57:00.002+08:00

Well, today was a nice day.
I didn't expect anything much from someone.
But yeah. =) Thank God. =)
I think its better this way.... =D

Haha. ok... here's goes nothing.
My new song.

Title: Be Strong.

[Verse 1]

Have you ever wondered, why life is so hard?
I sat on a porch & hoped & prayed,
for all the hard things to stop,
I was force to smile, but I never did,
It was so hard that I fell and drop.
But I think back again,
why I'm facing this pain,
& slowly I think for a day & say...

[Chorus]

Hey, move on in life,
forget about what you've been through,
take it as if its a lesson for you,
Be strong,
Now, think for a while,
and there's also a secret behind 'I can survive'
**it is when you realize, ' Scars makes us stronger for life'. {2X}

[Verse 2]

When the days are long,
and the debts are high,
and everything goes wrong,
all you can do is to sigh.
& its all uphill struggle,
& bloodsweating tears,
& thats when you have to face those troubles,
But let me tell you just throw away your fears
& never say never, tell yourselves this,

**[Chorus]

[Piano Solo]

[Bridge]

Being strong isn't as easy as, 1, 2, 3.
Though we may have to put up that faces and pretend like
we're problem free.
& again, its all, uphill struggle
& bloodsweating tears
when you have to pop that bubble,
& tell yourselves that you can't live in fear.

**[Chorus]

[Outro]

Live your dreams,
Don't let words bring you down,
Though things wouldn't be as what it seems,
Move on, don't ever turn in rounds.

*chuckles*

Yeah. thats it.

haha. I got a few more songs to post up with the recording.
currently finding a good sound engineer, arranger and producer.
its hard to find.

Let me tell ya something for the musicians who wants to have a label,
NEVER COMPROMISE AMONG THOSE THREE above.
Your songs will turn out horrible. No kidd.

Ok. here's the chords I play on the song.
This time round, its on the piano.
Chords are, F, G, Am.
well, the way i play it, is a little hard to explain here.
oh wells. =)

ok. =)

tagged in, and you're it.

haha. again, i was shocked and really it made me happy, that,
a few of my friends really love this song that i made too.
haha. thank you guys. ((^.^))

kkays. good night my readers. I love you all. =)

P.S: I'll See You Soon.. =)

Whispers Of The Forgotten Soul.

2009-12-17T22:24:00.000+08:00

Yes,
this is what I'm feeling right now.
Rather sophisticated. No. Thats not the right word.
Im rather...

feeling pain.

I don't either know why the reason for being in my state.

My soul yearns for hopes that are even barely to reach for.

Well, yes this is me.
I'm rather emotional at this very moment.

Days goes by,
I still don't why,
That things just get harder in here,
& I bravely told myself,
I ain't gonna live in fear.

Sometimes, words are turn into pain,
why others goes down the drain.
but still I'm sitting here by the window...
Tryna stay put, stand tall from being hollow.

Desires are temptation for one individual,
while liars are always out looking for troubles.
betrayals are simple, they come for they want,
they leave before the sun,
comes up & everyone can see them.
and thats where they start changing names,
from Laura & Jane to Jacintha & Sam.

Lets making it simple, I'm tryna not to be self-proclaim,
but what was those sacrifices for, if you still behave the same?
Said i'm suppose to be the one that should always comes first,
but I didn't know after awhile I become a curse, & you got worse.

So tell me why?
that as days goes by,
you're expecting me to look after your feelings,
when you don't even look after mine,
for once, its hurtful, its KILLING.

so stop & stare,
look at the stars and beware.
of the night creatures to come by,
and hunt you down, while you have to sigh.

cause im not going to be there,
maybe no more.
cause this time I swear,
I really wana walk out of that door...

Goodbye...

P.S: Pain Is All I Feel.

Fading Tears.

2009-12-15T21:43:00.000+08:00

Things, of cause, had been better.
Well, thats what we would choose to hear.
I began, with Fading Tears.

I felt different about my whole life now.
I don't know, if there's actually, something missing.
Or, its just my thoughts.

How could this happened, when there's no reasons behind 'ones' truth.

Every night, my tears flow down as if there were something that I've missed so much.
Something I valued and its all gone now.

I realized after awhile that...
it was all about my family bond..
and love.

Yes, its fading away...

How can this happened...?

Im not trying to be emotional,
but who wouldn't feel this way.. If you and your family,
were in very GOOD terms before... Who wouldn't..?

I've always dreams the good things thats happening between me and my family.
i've always. DREAM about it...
But what comes next? The love is not there anymore...
I know, of course there are worse cases out there than just me.
But this is what im facing, this is painful.

As soon as I yearn for a dreamcatcher. Slowly, my dreams turn into bad ones.
Dreams of Eternal Pain... And more...

But why...?

Just why...?

Again, I yearn for the love of my family, to become one as a whole again.

and I yearn that love from one, whoever it is...
And also from you God..

P.S : This is my requiem for a dream...

Special Post. Vampires. Including Twilight Special. =)

2009-12-09T20:49:00.000+08:00

Oh Welcome, To The Night Family.
Yes, there's plenty I would gladly love to introduce. =)
Except for my, of cause parents,
I won't present their pictures here.

At first,
Lets talk about Vampires.
Yes. recently. It was pretty shocking to receive a gift
from my grandmother. Not any type of gift. Normal ones. No.
Not any normal ones. But a book. Yes, A book.

saying.

Yes, HANDBOOK.
Heh. I really love it alot. Though.
I dunno whats the fact now but, yeah.
Hmm and here's a front view of the book.

Oh, yes, the book is very interesting.
It talks about Pain Induces and more.
How to feed and certainly, more stuffs than what you read everyday.

Yes.
Oh, and as I flip through the pages and I saw this...

Lol. reminds me of.
thisssss.... thang I LOVE SO MUCH.
THEM.

Well, and maybe its true that,
Only Vampire Can Love You Forever.. =)

Well, after awhile..
I felt like. wow...
heh... Vampires huh?
Of cause I've been doing researches about em and some
claims that they are true, and some say its fantasy.
Well, some even self-proclaim, and I don't know how that works for them.
But yep.
Yes, I'm here just to share.

Ok, its really sad. Seriously.
Nevermind.

So let me introduce,
the 2 of us first.
Me & Younger Brother.
My older sister and brother will be in the future, along with my parents.

Yep.

This is me.

And this is my Younger brother.

yes, like I've said, others I'll share in the future.

=)

Oh yeah. thats for today I guess.

I'm still wondering......

Wondering why...

P.S : Still wondering...

Maybe Tomorrow. =)

2009-12-06T23:47:00.000+08:00

Oh wells.
Finally recovered from that pain.
EEEEEEESSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH.

Well, guess what, im so bored now.

TAYLOR TAG ME IN MY BLOG.

YOU TOO, SAMUEL LOH. hahahaha. =P

ohhh wells,
dance cancelled tomorrow,
still, that moron needs to give me back my Breaking Dawn.
If he lost it, I'm gonna kill him.
IT COSTS ME $41 bucks for that bookkk meeennn.

Sheeesshhh.
Oh wells. I feel like going somewhere fun tomorrow. =P

LOL. ESPLANADE.

hahaha. New Moon. lalalal XD

Ok ok. Im listening to Blue Eyes By Mika.
You should go listen. Its Nice.

Well, had a great day today. =P hahas.
Though I didn't do anything much. hahahhas.
Oh welllssss.

Hmm, Im cleaning my guitar.

LOL. men, i miss drawing.
haha.
I'll post few of my art piece up soon. =)

LOL. For my peeps who loves the songs that I made.

Really thank you so much for your support.

I'll try to find a talent agent in singapore. hahaha.
Maybe I'll go far. I dunno.
But again, thanks for supporting and loving my songs. =))

Haha. Will post my next song up soon. =)
For Scores or Chords of My songs.
Comment me up or just text me. =)

I'll be happy to give ya guys. ^^

LOL. XD

Okok. Soooo, since there no dance tomorrow. I'll get my book back and then
to ESPLANADEEEEE. heeeeee~~~ lalalal XD

Sooo. Days Are Getting Better.
Thank God.

So, Maybe I'll Be A Good Composer One Day,
And Maybe Tomorrow. =)

Off.~~

P.S: Tatania! I Love you, My dear little shorrrt-hair british cat. =)

I Know You Are But Who I Am...?

2009-12-03T19:07:00.000+08:00

This is driving me crazy...

Why?
Why?
Why?

God Help Me..

P.S : I Know You Are But Who I Am...?

Confused. =X

2009-12-03T18:25:00.000+08:00

Crap.
yes. See the title!?
Yeah, its confusing me. BIG TIME, hell yeah!
Gosh.

Ok before I say the whole story.
Let me comment on something.

NEW MOON's A BLAST. =) Love IT.
JUST LOVE IT.
I'M LOVING IT. Ok ok.

Noth much abt new moon. Maybe next post. haha.

Oh wells. Back to the CONFUSING PART.
Im thinking of someone in my mind..
Really...
Ive been thinking about this someone for I dunno how long..
Im just not too sure who it is..
Im really stuck about it.
gosh...
its really clouding up my mind.

Who the hell am I thinking of..
Yeah, its true, that its not compulsory to be in love..
But.. I think.. im in love with this guy..
god...

Who can it be...?

ARRGGGGHH.
I hate this.
I dont even know who.
CRAP.

This is getting complicated..

Im off.

P.S : I think its him.. AHH. nono. I dont think he likes me. nono.
its just impossible.... I.. I just dunno...

Song Title : El Amor Es Ciego. By Saphira N.Idayu

2009-11-30T18:25:00.000+08:00

Note*** The song that is played the moment you entered my blog. isnt MY songs. =P

Well, I've made this song for some reasons.
I'll post up more, though this isn't my first.
I got lots more of my own songs. Some on piano and the guitar.
But this song is played on the guitar and definitely,
some of the phrases is in Spanish language.
Oh wells, here goes nothing.. :-

[Intro] (this is where i'll start talking)

I don't know what the hell am I thinking,
you left me, you hurt me so much,
yet I'm still needing for your touch.
heh..
Ohh.. yeah..

[Verse 1]

As days goes by,
you're the only one that, I'm thinking of.
Why did you treat me this way,
Sometimes your cold sometimes your okay,
and now you're leaving.
You just don't know how much,
I want you to stay & I wanna let you know.

[Chorus]

Eres el amor de mi vida.
Estoy enamorada
Pienso en ti siempre
Quiero estar contigo para siempre.
Te extrano.
Te necesito.
Te quiero, mi amor! Thats why they always say,
*El amor es ciego. {2X}

[Verse 2]

I never expected it to be this way,
we've been so close yet,
I have to watch you walk away.
Can you please tell me, what can I do to win you heart
back again?
So finally I can stop suffering from this pain.

~[Chorus]~~*

[Bridge]

Its ok..
If you really wanna walk away, heyy...
Its ok.. Yeah..
Probably you've forgotten those moments we've been through together,
But I just wanna tell you,
that I will always love you forever.

[Chorus] (it'll still be the same but its in english this time round.)

You are the love of my life.
I'm in love.
I think of you always.
I want to be with you forever.
I miss you.
I need you.
I love you, my love! Thats why they always say,
Love is blind.
Love is Blind.
Love is blind....

[Outro]

Let me ask you something,
would you stay if you weren't leaving?
I don't why,
Im still thinking about you now..
*Sigh..*

yeps, this is it.
the chords are Am, G, Dm, C.
All the way like that on the guitar.
Strumming is just, down,down, up, up, down.

Sigh. comment me if you have anything to say about the lyrics.
will post the recording up soon.
ahahha. actually i got few so-called "fans" who's madly in love with
this song. haaha. =P

Oh wells. Soso.
again. Facebook status.
Finally, A big relief?
yeahhh.. soo happy right now. =P

i just dunno why. =)

Ohhhh.. dear.
20th dec, celebrating my birthday at my place!
WUW, its like 10 days earlier than my actual birth date.
hahaks.

Sigh.

P.S : Still shattered, wish someone could pick up those pieces of my heart,
and fix it back for me..

Desires For Upcoming Birthday, Much?

2009-11-20T22:17:00.000+08:00

Sighh..

Well, I know my family isn't rich and stuffs.
But definitely finding a way to get what I really wanted.
I saw my cuzzie got the camera that I really wanted so much
since I was sec 1. But I just smile and pretend it doesn't hurts
to see how easy she get what she wants.. Sigh..

My Birhtday List.
Actually I wanted a New Nike Dunk. But.. Sigh. nvm.

- Silverish Fever Nike Dunk. $ 159.

- A New Sony Camera. H-Series. DSC-HX1. $ 889? (can get cheaper actually)

I think thats all I wanted.
Noth much. actually all i wanted is the camera. not the dunk either. haha..

Cause I was planning to make a life journal. Well. not a digital one..
Sighhhhh.....

Mum,Dad,Kak,Danial? can I have that camera....? Pleasee...?

Desires For Upcoming Birthday, Much?

Case Close But Its Not The End.

2009-11-13T02:56:00.003+08:00

I've been prepared for like a year ago for something like this to happened. Sometimes I just wanna say this out loud. "GUYS ARE ASSHOLES" But I stop. I look back again. They are the one who made me learn. Not all guys are assholes. Well, there's still a few who are always there for me. Thank God is great. Somethings just happened on 11 November.

Your thoughts have been decoded. The sudden rush of doubts faded. How I wish, it faded in the brightest way. But no. It dulls my whole night. How I wonder when is this agony is going to fade away after it has replaced over the doubts. Yes, this is life. I have to face it. Its true I've been through a lot of it. But knowing another chance I was hoping, another pain was showing, makes me feel I had enough. Of everything. My hearts shattered into drastic pieces.. Wonder who's willing to find all back the pieces and put it back into whole. I can assure all of you one thing, its not gonna be easy this time.. Its not gonna be easy..

Listen to me wanna tell you what I feel, I never ever thought I'd be the one to feel those feelings that, I never thougt i'd have, cause everything you felt is never coming back. My heart's alone out there, I wanna tell you but i'm too damn scared.. So listen to me, let me tell you what I mean. I'm out of time, i'm out of heart, i'm out of me. I gave up everything I had and now i'm living in the past.
You was so hot, you were so cold..

Why can't you see that I got no where left to go..

So many times I tried to talk
But you never listened to me
So many times you said I'm wrong
But I couldn't see, no oh no
You broke inside, controlled my mind
Now that shadows all I see
But when you went away
You took a piece of me, with you
And my heart...

Shattered..

but just wanna let you know. Stop It Or Lose It. As Long As Im Still Breathing, There's No Limit In Anything I Want To Do. As Long As Im Still Breathing, There's No One That Who Can Stop Me For Pursuing My Dreams, Not Even You.

Case Close But Its Not The End.